syconium | Amanda Nicole Corbin | Poetry Contest 1st Place Winner - Winter 2025

on more than one occasion, i make my mother cry. drunk at twenty-six, i do not tell her whether she is more garden or greenhouse, but i do say i wish i’d never been born. another time, i tell her to come witness the crowning of her grandson, allow her to split our snare of cords, my lips bowing beryl blue in the holy process of blood loss. i do not mention how cleanly my guilt folds into the fields of her grief. another time, i tell her death itself does not expire; we can still bury her mother. i do not tell her what makes me think of this. i do not tell her how i kneel inside the flower of a fig, a wasp laying eggs.

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Amanda Nicole Corbin is an Ohio-based poet who has had her work published or forthcoming in The Notre Dame Review, The London Magazine, Door is a Jar, Palette Poetry, and more. Her work was nominated for Best Microfiction 2024 & 2025. Her debut full-length collection, addiction is a sweet dark room, (Another New Calligraphy, 2024) focuses largely on her journey and struggles with mental health and addiction. She is currently working on a collection of poetry regarding the topics of bodily autonomy, loss, and early motherhood. Find her on Threads, Bluesky, and Instagram at @ancpoet.