he left things at my door
a milk crate
a little too small
for its desired purpose
a stack of records
rare and precious pressings
by an artist I didn’t care for
nothing I needed
but things he thought
I’d be pleased by
he brought me plants
over and over
he brought me plants
succulents
strawberries
herbs too big
for my modest windowsill
almost listening
but not quite committed
every leaf unfurling a
veiny expectation
blossoms pendulous
pregnant with the
whatever I could not read
in his tensions
maybe his reasons for
behaving the way he did
bringing me things I didn’t
know how to care for
never wanted to tend to
in the first place
until I was forest-deep
where he still couldn’t hear me
or see me
but kept bringing me
tiny cacti and
replacing the pansies
when I inevitably
killed them
again and again
I killed them
I read somewhere
that the human eye
can perceive more
shades of green
than any other colour
and over and over
I killed them.
Sarah Jean Valiquette is a queer white settler living and working on the unceded territories of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh nations. She is an actor, an internationally published poet and photographer, and the creator and curator of the (re)markable project. She has a BFA from the University of Victoria and has studied at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama, and the Banff Centre for the Arts. Her work has been published by Oratorealis Magazine, Queer Dot, Sapphic Writers Collective, Raven Review, Fatal Flaw Literary Magazine, Dog House Press, Emotional Alchemy, Cotelydon, Viscaria, Memoira Magazine, Porridge Magazine, and more- as well as in her first chapbook “Little Rebellions” which came out in 2019. You can find her online at www.sarahjeanvaliquette.com and on Instagram at @essjay.v
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